


Separate Ways

by wigglebox



Series: Supernatural - Season 15 Coda Fics [15]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Apocalypse, Demon Dean Winchester but not the one from season 10, Heaven & Hell, M/M, Missed Opportunities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:07:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27306751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wigglebox/pseuds/wigglebox
Summary: Millions of missed chancesMillions of different choicesMillions of ways they came so, so close.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Supernatural - Season 15 Coda Fics [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1514216
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	Separate Ways

**"You know what every other version of you did after gripping him tight and raising him from perdition?**

**What they were told."**

**Version 401.8**

Daniel got to Dean first, and Castiel let him. He didn’t care all that much, only that they got the man and left Hell as soon as they could before they suffered any more losses. Many were already injured, or dead—far more than Castiel had expected.

Dean didn’t want to go, and Castiel, even from afar, could see how far gone the man was. Castiel wasn’t clear on how long it usually took a person to lose themselves once they were down there, but it felt like Dean broke remarkably fast. 

_Because humans are weak_. 

Castiel frowned as Daniel finally subdued Dean, grabbing him by his upper arm and pulling him over to the ledge. He had no idea how this one person, this frail person, was supposed to help them achieve anything. For a moment, as Daniel prepared to take off, Castiel wondered if they had retrieved the right person. 

But they did, and that was the disappointing fact of it all. 

Castiel signaled to the rest of those who were still alive that time was up, they had to go. It seemed like such a waste—all that loss for a mission that required them to haul an unstable human being back up to Earth. Castiel had been told it was for a good purpose but wasn’t provided additional details.

The way out for them proved easier than the battle in and Daniel went to deposit Dean back into his grave. Dean, still with the attitude from earlier, clearly didn’t want to go. He fought and kicked, and at one point tried to bite Daniel in the face but Castiel intervened. He shoved Dean back into his body with so much force, the immediate space couldn’t handle the energy. Nearby trees blew back and onto each other, crashing to the ground and sending a plume of birds flying and small animals scampering away. 

“Don’t you think we should at least free him from that hole?” Daniel asked, looking worried. Castiel shook his head, already turning away. 

“If he can’t get out, he can’t get out,” he said. The whole mission felt like a farce. “And if he can’t get out, then maybe they’ll reconsider using him for help.”

Castiel walked out onto a nearby road to see if anyone had heard their efforts, but all was quiet. Before he could turn back to Daniel, Zachariah appeared in front of Castiel. He glanced behind him at the burial site then back at Castiel with a smirk. 

“You did well. I’ll take it from here,” he said, patting Castiel on the back as he turned and headed back to Daniel who still sat by the grave. He still looked concerned and Castiel frowned as they approached, hoping Daniel had enough sense to control his expression. 

Daniel was not strong, and everyone knew it. Castiel foreshadowed Daniel not lasting much longer. He’d end up killed in a mission, or punished by their superiors. Either way, Daniel was too close to humans and demonstrated too many similar emotions to them, and it was too dangerous to let it continue. They had tried fixing Daniel several times, Castiel present for most of them, to get him back on task, but he just kept deviating. 

Daniel faced a fatal future, but Castiel couldn’t bring himself to worry about it. 

That’s just how it went. 

Without a word to either Daniel or Zachariah, Castiel took off without a second look at Dean’s grave. 

**Version 504**

The hope lasted as long as it possibly could, but decision after decision led to what Castiel figured to be the second worse outcome for them all.

If he chose to view two nuclear forces battling it out on Earth and wiping out the human race as mercy rather than punishment, then the current situation could actually be considered the number one worse outcome. 

Hiding out in camps and in the woods, battling creatures that went from human beings to mutated into demon spawns overnight just to survive, wasn’t the future Castiel envisioned.

In a way, it was his own fault. He acknowledged that much. He had strung Dean and Sam along, just because he was told to. Castiel got Dean to Sam in the end, but for all the good it did, he could have just kept Dean in the holding room. 

He had acted too late, not confident enough to allow his doubts guide his decision-making. 

It only took a short time later for Dean and Sam to fracture completely with Dean unable to look past all that had happened. Castiel chose to view it as Dean not only being thrown aside by someone so close to him, family but also that the problem had now become so insurmountable. Dean and Sam now had the knowledge that their existence was only to be vehicles for annihilation, pitted against each other in the worst way. 

There was no way Dean could be around Sam with that weight on his shoulders. Castiel couldn’t blame him. 

However, it wasn’t the only relationship that took a hit. Dean rarely smiled at Castiel again or even looked him in the eye for longer than a second, and while he didn’t push Castiel away, he often didn’t welcome conversations unless Castiel began them. 

Castiel understood that Dean also blamed him for what happened because Castiel didn’t know how to say no.

Which Castiel couldn’t argue against, but still found marginally unfair. Dean didn’t know what it was like to be an Angel with a target on their back—but Castiel couldn’t accurately explain it.

Over time, they had both lost their sense of self. Castiel’s grace dried up, there was nothing he could do to get it back. That was a hard truth to accept. Everything dissipated in just under a year, and eventually, Castiel would find himself sitting upright in bed in the middle of the night, staring at the cabin wall and wondering why he was still even there. To which a small but sinister voice answered:

_Where else are you going to go?_

**Version 420.9**

That small and adamant voice that had started to speak up inside Castiel had little to no chance of survival. 

The most frustrating thing about the situation was that Castiel had gotten so close, _so close_ , to getting the information to Dean. Castiel knew others were closing in and he had little time left. 

He didn’t know what took Dean so long that night but in the end, several other Angels, some Castiel didn’t know that well, others who had fought beside him over the millennia, came for him. 

Castiel had the ability to fight. It was a skill given to him that he had used judiciously many times—but against several others who were matched in every way, Castiel had no chance. He still fought, just to say that he did, but the battle had been lost before he took the first swing. 

The space they eventually dragged him into was familiar, though he couldn’t pinpoint why. They kept him there for an indeterminate amount of time that Castiel filled through all of the options of what would happen to him. He didn’t think his actions warranted a fatal punishment but there was no option for him to remain unscathed. 

Disappointment and anger continued to wash over Castiel the more he thought about what happened. He was so _close_ , but Dean had been too slow. 

And now there would be no way for him to get back down there. 

In the middle of his thoughts, the space Castiel had been placed in filled with someone else. They also looked familiar, but Castiel couldn’t place the name. They approached Castiel calm and quiet, almost like some kind of animal stalking its prey. 

Castiel couldn’t do anything but brace himself as the Angel moved into him fully, encasing him in a burning sensation so severe, all sound completely left him and all lingering thoughts evaporated instantly. His entire being felt strapped to the surface of the sun as someone continued to throw wave after wave of additional fire over him. 

No one screamed, no one made a single sound. Castiel suffered in silence as they held him, and burned him into much-needed submission. 

_You don’t serve man, you don’t serve him. You don’t serve man, you don’t serve him. You don’t serve man, you don’t serve him. You don’t—_

The mantra repeated over and over, filling the empty space left behind by the flames. It seared itself into Castiel, marking itself as inescapable. The words remained the only truth left in him with no room or energy to doubt it. It told him all he needed to know. 

Castiel’s failing inner voice piped up, wanting to make itself heard, trying to form a question: _Then who do I—_

But the fire crashed over him again and the question couldn’t finish itself, its voice fizzling out completely.

_You don’t serve man, you don’t serve him. You serve Heaven._

The white light of heat continued for an unspecified length of time before gradually fading into soothing, cool darkness. 

They allowed him to go back. For whatever reason, they allowed him to retrieve his vessel before returning to Heaven. Castiel viewed it as a test.

Castiel did what he was told to do and repeated the truth he knew to a bewildered Dean. Castiel ignored the reaction and didn’t provide any additional information. Dean didn’t need it, wasn’t owed it, and Castiel didn’t care enough to explain it. 

Dean had his role, Sam had his, and Castiel was reminded of his own.

He walked away and a different Angel took over watching Dean and Sam, leading them down that pre-destined path.

It was the last time he saw Dean and Sam as themselves.

**Version 401.3**

They couldn’t make it out. 

Someone, something in Hell already knew they were coming and had Dean so well guarded, it would have taken much more force to break through the wall.

Castiel foresaw the problem and had warned his superiors this would happen. He warned that if this human was as important as they say he was, then those who ruled in Hell would know that, and would safeguard him to the point it would take enormous power to penetrate their defenses. 

He was dismissed and still told to go with the minimal resources he had.

And Castiel did, knowing full well it would be a failure. 

He and two others eventually managed to break through the defenses and see Dean in the middle of the fray. 

The sight of a man he had been told would be the key to their success standing in a sea of demons, looking deformed and mutilated almost beyond recognition of humanity surprised Castiel so exponentially, he paused too long to process it. 

Dean watched, expressionless, as a hand covered Castiel and someone behind him began chanting words, causing the world around him to disintegrate into the abyss. 

**Version 401.89b**

No Castiel in existence. 

No one survives.

**Version 112.2**

Sam didn’t act in time, and his mistake proved fatal. 

But not for him.

He waited a minute too long to intercept Sue Ann, and by the time he did, Dean had collapsed in the parking lot motionless. 

It was entirely too early; That’s what they told Castiel as he accompanied Zachariah and Michael to Dean’s Heaven. They chatted amongst themselves as Castiel trailed them, still unsure why he was asked to come along in the first place. 

“He wasn’t even supposed to come here,” Zachariah said, visibly agitated. 

“It may make it easier,” Michael replied, quiet and glancing at Castiel. 

“Wasn’t he supposed to be the backup—”

“If John Winchester doesn’t break then we can always remedy that,” Michael explained as they approached the entrance. “There’s nothing that says we still can’t put Dean down there before he goes back to Earth, but let’s see how it plays out first.”

Castiel watched as the doorway unsealed itself and followed Zachariah and Michael through, into a dark field where a black car sat parked at the edge of a gravel parking lot. A lone figure laid on the hood as a radio crooned to him, turned down low as to not disturb the peace of the night. The lack of lighting put the night sky in full focus, and every few minutes a myriad of shooting stars would pass over them. 

Castiel thought it one of the more peaceful Heavens he’s visited.

Zachariah mumbled how boring it was. 

“I need you to make sure Sam doesn’t come anywhere near a summoning circle,” Michael said to Zachariah after a moment, his voice low even though Dean couldn’t hear them. “I don’t want him going back down there before we need him to, and I don’t want the wrong Winchester in Hell.”

Zachariah left without another word to either of them and Castiel took his spot next to Michael. 

“You’ll watch Dean,” Michael told Castiel without turning to look at him. “If Zachariah does his job properly, you won’t have a problem, but just in case—”

Castiel nodded his head though he had no idea what Michael meant.

“What was that you said earlier about a seal?” Castiel asked as Michael turned to leave. 

He paused but didn’t turn back to Cas, “That’s none of your business. Just do as you’re told.”

The dark encircled Castiel once the doorway closed behind him, and he was left watching Dean, falling asleep under the stars.

**Version 520.5b**

Waiting around for some kind of activity spiked Castiel’s annoyance. Not moving, not doing any kind of action made him restless.

Abihail elbowed their way to the front of the pack, taking the mission to retrieve Dean from Hell, something Castiel had been preparing for ever since the man made that deal. And Abihail won that bid. 

Left without anything to do, Castiel hung back around the outskirts, helping out when called on but otherwise remaining in the dark. They were told to “prepare” but given few details as to what it was all about. 

After a long while, Castiel and the rest who had to “prepare” were finally called down to the battlefield, a point on Earth that had already begun to decay, the change spreading outward at a rapid pace. Birds took off from the trees, retreating to other save havens that would soon also be consumed by the sheer amount of Angelic power that Earth couldn’t handle. Animals ran from the area, their cries of distress filling the air, growing faint as they tried to outrun their inevitable outcome. The humans would likely soon follow.

Castiel, standing at the front with his own company, one of the ones selected to help lead the charge, wondered if they would actually win.

He glanced to his right, seeing Michael with the visage of the man Castiel had originally been tasked with saving. Michael, no doubt feeling like he was being watched, turned, and caught Castiel’s stare.

In an instant, Castiel saw the flash of fear and panic in Michael’s expression—except it wasn’t him. It was the face of the terrified, exorbitantly sad man who Michael couldn’t fully control. In that brief moment, Castiel saw eyes that went from fury and focused, to horrified, almost pleading for someone to intervene.

Blinking rapidly, Michael returned, and whatever Dean had been trying to silently communicate to Castiel disappeared. 

Castiel couldn’t look up from the ground, didn’t want to look at the group several hundred yards away, about to charge. The fear from Dean jumped into Castiel and he couldn’t shake it. 

Someone began shouting, some began moving, but Castiel couldn’t hear over a voice inside his own head: 

_We’re going to fail_.

There would be no paradise for them. 

**Author's Note:**

> Man, I think it's possible to do a bazillion of these things, to be honest.  
> 15x17 was an amazing episode, and it ended with /that/ line by Chuck.  
> I don't even really know what to put in the notes section because it was just such a deep episode and we're about to tumble into an even deeper one so—I basically just wanted to explore snapshots of these different worlds where Cas did as he was told. But like I said—you could have so so so so so so so many of these lol. 
> 
> I just love them so much ;______; 
> 
> Thank you for reading! This is unbeta'd so if you happen to spot a mistake, kindly let me know so I can fix!  
> Photo by Cherry Laithang on Unsplash
> 
> <3 Jen


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